Field guide
The Regulars
Every men’s room in the world has them. Learn to spot them from the door, and you’ll know which urinal not to pick.
Never next to him
The Leaner
One hand on the wall, holding the building up. The urinal under his arm is his too.
Harmless
The Multitasker
Answering emails mid-stream. Harmless. Don’t read over his shoulder.
See the meme →
Harmless
The No-Hands
Hands behind his head, elbows out. Confidence nobody asked for. Harmless.
Never next to him
Dad & Son
Two urinals, one running commentary. Never stand next to them.
See the meme →
Special case
The Queue Jumper
The ladies’ line was 40 deep. She’s coming through. Don’t look. Don’t move.
See the meme →
Special case
The Cleaner
Mopping round your feet. He has seen everything, and he is judging your aim.
See the meme →And then there’s you
You play as one of three kinds of men. Each needs a different amount of space.
The Regular
Most of us. Takes the urinal furthest from everyone. One gap is Okay; right next to someone is Awkward.
The Alpha
Chain, sunglasses, no fear. Standing right next to someone is only Okay for him, not Awkward.
The Shy
Hood up. Needs at least two empty urinals between him and anyone. If the door opens, the moment is gone.
The full code is in The Unwritten Rules.